This has become a popular discussion on my radar lately, and I’m curious to spark a discussion and hear from others. From the outside world (and to those who are foreign to it) male chastity as it pertains to a D/s relationship…is often viewed as an odd and cruel dynamic in a relationship. They struggle to understand why a man would willingly hand over control of his penis. this is often viewed as being un-masculine and that it would make a guy less of a man for doing so… that he lacks masculinity or that it diminishes his masculinity. The only other time such an idea is prevalent in the ‘vanilla’ world is when a man doesn’t maintain his self identity in a relationship and loses his ‘balls’ to his spouse.
First and foremost, my opinion is that these two things are completely different from one another. When a man ‘loses his balls’ in his relationship it often is reflective of a man that no longer has his own self identity, doesn’t stand up for himself and is often controlled by an over bearing spouse. Often being called ‘pussy whipped’ these types are heckled by their male peers for having sold out on the testicle crew and trading ones balls in for a shiny ‘Mangina’… However this is perceived… this has nothing to do with the idea of male chastity.
My opinion is that male chastity is the elective decision for a man to enter into a relationship with a female dominant, and for him to DEVOTE himself to the relationship unconditionally. At first glance it would seem that a man handing over his ‘manhood’ would make him well… less of a man right? Afterall, he handed the goods over… However, it actually takes more of a man and a human being with a higher understanding to devote themselves to such a dynamic.
Think about it, as humans our primitive state of mind, our urges and our desires make us slave to these animalistic ‘needs’ in our lives…and it forces us as humans to remain self serving and selfish. Only after we have secured these ‘needs’ we will ration out ourselves to those around us and to help fulfill their needs. A man who falls prey to his penis, is someone who is a slave to his dick and it’s urges. A man who is unwilling to part with this selfish cycle and relationship he has with his penis is less of a man than the one who is willing to forego his own feedings for that of his female spouses.
Once a human being makes the decision to remove themselves from that primitive slave cycle, they automatically have made it to the next stage of a higher understanding and become more of a superior being…
What makes a real man? A man who opts to forego an orgasm and understands that this energy can better be served by being placed into the relationship. How do women define a real man? Someone who is willing to put his female spouse first and foremost …and above and before his dick. A man that is willing to place a woman before his dick is someone who inhabits more masculinity than any other man who refuses to part with his dick. Furthermore, he also has more masculinity because testosterone defines masculinity… and quite frankly a backed up man will always have more ‘masculinity’ flowing through his body at any given time over someone who selfishly runs around with his dick in his hand all day long.
The problem is that society interprets ‘male ego’ as masculinity. A man that acts machismo and says ‘no woman is going to lock my cock up’ may have a shit load of male ego but not masculinity. Many in the outside world may view a chastised male as being less of a man…but all these people lack is an open mind or a desire to grow past the tip of their dicks.
As a dominant female and someone who studies behavioral psychology and human sexuality… I will say this… A man who is willing to enter into a submissive dynamic and detach himself from his male ego and ‘perceived masculinity’ is the most attractive, desirable and masculine type of man around.
So to all the subs who often find themselves in a moment of uncertainty, or challenged by society’s depiction of masculinity… just know that real women… like the powerful beautiful women in this world who have the guts to embrace their sexuality and own it… to us… such a man is the truest, realist and most masculine around. Remember ‘physicalities’ don’t always determine penile size and sometimes a closed minded shitty male ego makes one a true small dick mother fucker who lacks masculinity.