One more naive white husband hoping for a “trial period”. He’s fooling himself. Once the lock is closed and the wife sees the benefits, the trial is over. lol. This is a Modern Marriage. The new normal. Permanent
Since I get a lot of asks from people who want to start explore chastity, I thought it would be good to tackle some often recurring assumptions people have about chastity. Some of them are true, some are not… Hopefully these will help you to set realistic expectations and prevent any disappointment when you start locking your cock up, because it’s not always as hot/perfect/easy/exciting as your chastity fantasy. =)
1) When someone else holds my key for me, I won’t be able to cum at all without my keyholder’s permission! FALSE! Being locked in
chastity makes it harder for you to cum, but definitely not impossible! Especially
the ‘ball-trap’ chastity cages are far from foolproof, so you are very likely
to be able to pull out from the back and masturbate, unless you have a PA piercing
attached to the cage. Some custom devices come with anti-pull out pins, but if you’re a grower you can often still pull out. The question is if you can tuck it back though, and you don’t want to find out the hard way. Besides, you can always use a vibrator against your device to cum, or
you might be able to cum handsfree from anal play, or playing with your nipples.
Some people can cum from shaking the device or have regular wet dreams… And to some extent, that’s a
good thing! It’s better for your prostate health to get milked every now and
then to drain the system. It’s up to your keyholder how much fun you’re allowed
during these milkings though, some prefer to keep these milkings as frustrating
as possible or only allow milking through anal stimulation. These alternative orgasms might not be as enjoyable and satisfying as your ‘normal’ orgasms, but just keep in mind that even though you’re chaste, you will be probably be able to cum in different ways. Chastity devices still require self discipline to work!
2) The longer I’ll be in chastity, the hornier I will get! FALSE! Yes, you
probably will experience a peak in your libido after a few days of denial, which I
think is the reason lots of people like short-term chastity, however, that
hormone peak won’t stay up forever, so longer is not per say better! Some
people get bored of chastity after a few hours, some after a week, some after a
month…. this permanent state of horniness that people often mention sounds amazing and ooooh so hot, but is actually
something that comes and goes. For me there are many weeks I almost get addicted to the feeling of cocks/toys/fists in my butt and there are weeks that interest is way below average… Fortunately not that many, or it wouldn’t be fun, haha. So, how denial affects your libido and general mood is something personal and you should find that out yourself, or together with your keyholder, before going for many weeks of chastity straight away. So longer is not better…. *No, I’m not talking about cocks here*
3) Having my cock locked away, will make me more
sensitive , like anal, nipple play! TRUE! In my experience,
this is definitely true! I wasn’t that keen on anal play at first, but once we
got to the point where anal stimulation got me leaking, I got hooked. It’s an
amazing sight and oddly enough gives a feeling of accomplishment. I’m not sure this leaking happens because my chastity got me more
sensitive, or because we just got better at finding my prostate, haha. Either way, every
time I’m unlocked, my dick is also super sensitive and I can cum way quicker than I
could when I used to masturbate a lot. My boyfriend also can also make me go
insane by just flicking my nipples a bit, so overall I definitely think that longterm
denial gets your body more sensitive.
4) Chastity can’t be done right with cheap,
plastic devices! FALSE! There are a lot of rip-off devices under $50 that can be found online, but I don’t recommend using
them, because they break way quicker than for example stainless steel devices or more quality devices. I’ve
had my chastity cage crack open twice during some serious straining and no matter how much of a
masochist you are, the pain of your skin getting trapped in cracked plastic is
not something you want to experience! I think these devices CAN have their place
though, for example during a few hours bondage scene, or a play night at your
Master’s place… but for anything longer than half a day, these cheap knockoffs should be avoided. If you were to choose for a cheap device,
because you can’t afford a more expensive one, then you should be aware of the
fact that these are less comfortable, more susceptible to rust/breaking and more
likely to cause skin irritation. Conclusion: Cheap devices are ok for occasional use, NOT for 24/7 wear.
5) Whenever my dick gets locked for a few months, my dick will shrink! TRUE…ish This is a question
people ask me a lot, y’all seem to be obsessed with it! For some it’s a goal, others fear for permanent changes to their cock. Well, in this case I can satiasy both camps. Having your dick locked
away for many months 24/7 can make it appear smaller, especially when you’ve
worn a snug fitting cage that left no room for growth. However this shrinkage
is only obvious when you’re flaccid and it’s not permanent. It’s not like your cock
atrophies from being in chastity. It’s more like the tissue is squeezed together, so after
a few erections the shrinkage (if any at all) should be reversed and erections will be as big as
they’ve always been.
6) The main goal of chastity should be to get locked
up 24/7 and rivet your device shut! FALSE! Nope. Riveting a
device shut is the goal of maybe 0,1% of everyone who’s into chastity! A cage might be worn permanently by a
slave, but it can also worn occasionally during sex for added submissiveness, or publicly for
humiliation.. Chastity can be used to prevent masturbation or cheating, or it
can be used as motivation to work on unfinished chores or assignments. I even
know some bottoms who keep their top boyfriend’s cocks locked until they want
to get fucked. So overall, there’s not really a wrong way to go as long as you and your keyholder are enjoying your frustration. So, don’t feel inadequate because you ‘only kept yourself locked for 3 days’. Again, even though people will probably tease and push you to extend your time in chastity, longer is not always better……
Such a glorious day, don’t you think? Dedicated solely to the practice of locking up cocks on submissive men in order to bring control, calm, and caged bliss to their horny lives.
Because the cock is such a fickle, needful, inconvenient, and downright impatient beast, it clearly needs to be treated like a child with bad behavior:
– it needs to be given boundaries…
– It needs structure…
– It needs rules…
– And it needs them now!
Today, assess your husband/boyfriend/submissive and ask yourself this question: is it time for Me, as a Dominant, to exert My total control over his cock? The answer, of course, is a resounding yes.
How can we, the ones in a position of power and control, claim to be giving our submissives the restraint and Dominance they crave if we let their cocks, masturbation habits, and ability to cum run free? We cannot claim it at all when chastity is not being implemented.
Now, before there are cries of “but that’s so much work!” remember this – being a Dominant is work. Get that set in your mind and embrace it, or get out of the lifestyle…
On to the fun stuff!
Caging…
Caging is, of course, the most lauded and publicly recognized form of chastity within circles who implement the practice. There is a solid, locked, inescapable restriction put on men by their keyholders from which they cannot escape without explicit release from the Dominant who has the key to any given device.
There are so many choices for devices, which makes it fun to shop, select, and try on various options with submissives. There is a certain learning curve with sizing and determining practicality across various lifestyles, but it is, overall, an exciting step for any D/s couple trying out the practice, and can be an immensely important bonding activity for trust building and, of course, foreplay.
This method provides visual, tactile, and psychological appeal because it is so present. A sub, in the beginning stages, will feel the constant constriction and physical reminder that their dick is no longer a toy that belongs to them. The magical moment is when a submissive male realizes…oh my Goddess…being caged…feels good!
They will begin to crave the cage, feel safe within the cage, and positively love the cage.
Psychologically Enforced Chastity or The Honor System…
A level up, of course, is mental chastity implemented through sheer psychological ownership. This type of chastity is only for those D/s relationships where honesty and total obedience are unquestioned, and in which the Dominant can devote larger amounts of time and effort to chastity training.
It’s no easy thing to trust a submissive to not touch themselves based on the honor system, and it requires months, if not years, of training to instill total obedience and the ability for them to resist their urge to masturbate based on a need to please you, the Dominant.
The process also requires constant encouragement, reward systems, and positive verbal reminders of how much the submissive is pleasing you, his Dominant, by remaining chaste.
Creating an atmosphere in which rewards are centered on giving the Dominant pleasure, arousing his body and mind through activities other than sex, and teaching him that arousal does not inherently guarantee, nor should always include, orgasm = three techniques that play a large part in honor-system chastity training.
Take it from Me: the knowledge that your submissive is enthralled to your will and has overcome his pubescent masturbatory habits in order to please YOU is an enormously rewarding payoff…
Men have always ‘owned the cock’, so, it would be nice, as a woman, to have a cock to do just that, to say “this is what’s going to happening”. Being able to penetrate and have that feeling that a man normally have (penetrating) gives a feeling of control.
Sex has a lot to do with whether a man can perform, when a woman wears a strap-on it gives the man a break from the pressure – a toy cock never goes down, it never gets limp – she can fuck him all night.
Having this power over him and his sexuality gives a sense of dominance. Some men aren’t used to that and women should own and enjoy that power shift once in awhile in their relationship.
