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Hello everyone. I have gotten quite a few messages inquiring about FLR Coaching in real time. My original intent was to share the benefits of FLR’s through this blog, however, I am willing to speak with women or couples who are serious about pursuing this this lifestyle. No promises. I’m have no formal training or education in the area of relationship counseling, so I will only be sharing with you my experiences, opinions, and things I have soaked up from many years of online research. I’m not able to speak to all the single men out there, but can make time for a few women and couples. If interested, private message me and I’ll provide a secondary number that I maintain and we can go from there. 

Orgasm Denial – How Often is Up to Her!

One of the first issues that needs to be addressed when a couple first
embarks on a male chastity lifestyle is male orgasm denial and how long it should be for.

In order to adequately address this question, it’s wise to take a step back
and determine what the man had in mind in the first place when he originally
broached the subject of male chastity with his partner.

The area of male chastity can cover a lot of ground, anywhere from
permanent orgasm denial to mild chastity play. Both he and she need to decide
where on this wide spectrum their interests happen to lay.

From a man’s point of view, spending a week in a chastity device might be entirely too long. From the woman’s perspective, a month would be a good starting point, moving upwards from there.

Let’s get one common misconception out of the way from the get-go. A male
will suffer no permanent psychological or physical damage by being denied an
orgasm for a lengthy period of time. At some point, any build up in the
prostrate will take care of itself by the way of an involuntary discharge.
That’s what a wet-dream is.

For couples who prefer to spice things up a bit, there are always scheduled
prostrate milkings and ruined orgasms; erotic subjects of their very own more
suited for another time and place.

If he has in mind just some mild chastity play, then she should be prepared
for the possibility of him trying to top from the bottom along with some
bitching and whining when he hasn’t been allowed to cum for three days.

This type of high maintenance and bullshit behavior on his part usually doesn’t
make male chastity worth her time and effort.

On the other end of the male chastity spectrum, permanent orgasm denial
probably won’t be appropriate for most couples, at least not at the beginning of his

male chastity training
anyway.

In reality, the man that has requested to have his orgasms denied by his
partner needs and actually wants her to exercise some firm but loving control
over the situation. He will require that his limits be pushed beyond what he
thinks he is capable of.

For example, if he agrees to go a week without any type of release, then she
should extend that time to ten days or maybe even two weeks in a male
chastity device. It’s then important that she emphatically sticks to to that predetermined time frame, with no questioning, begging, whining or recourse allowed on his part.

Her steadfast resolve will fulfill his deep-seated desire to be told ‘NO’
while at the same time will free herself of the tedious task of frequently
getting him in and out of his chastity device and then having to deal with the
annoying administration of his orgasms.

The longer the male is denied, the longer he will be able to maintain the
anticipation of sexually serving the female that he so secretly craves.

The longer the male is denied, the longer she can reap the emotional and
physical rewards that naturally come with keeping her male chaste, all the while
keeping her work-load to a bare minimum.

So to answer the question posed in the title of this article, how often
should he be allowed to cum?

Initially, longer than he thinks is reasonable. Eventually he will come to
the realization that the definition of ‘reasonable’ is best left up to her.

Orgasm denial for extended periods of time can be best achieved by requiring
him to wear a male chastity device. You can find a nice one by clicking here.

http://malechastitylifestyle.net/orgasm-denial-how-often-is-up-to-her/

Male chastity is the foundation of a Female Led Relationship (AKA: Modern Marriage)

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twitter.com/MsFLRcoach.

I’m starting to see more and more women walking around the office, stores, bars, restaurants, even the beach, with keys like this around their ankle or necklace. I give them a knowing grin as my own key dangles between my cleavage. Sometimes they are alone quietly enjoying themselves. Other times with friends, but more frequently then not they have their husband or boyfriend in tow. He’s usually walking a step behind her, listening to her, being attentive, carrying her bags, etc.. All the things you’ve read when you read about the benefits of male chastity. An astute observer will recognize the dynamic in play as more and more women are discovering the benefits of male chastity. You can see through her body language and her expressions that she exudes confidence and power. The experience for him is likely very humbling and degrading, but this is all part of learning his role and thriving in a Female Led Relationship.

I always wonder how many people understand the meaning and symbolism of the chastity key on display? How many others get it? While male chastity is rapidly growing in acceptance it is not yet mainstream. I believe male chastity to be the cornerstone of a Female Led Relationship. Through the power of the internet, social media, and various forums dedicated to this trending lifestyle, the practice of chastising males has grown exponentially in the last decade, as more and more women embrace matriarchy and enjoy the benefits of leading their men. There is no reason to think the growth of FLR’s won’t continue to spread and in the very new future, male chastity and the FLR’s will be the new normal of the “Modern Marriage”

With all that said, I encourage all women to research the benefits and strongly consider locking his cock and enjoying the harmony that accompany a Female Led Relationship. If you’ve already taken this step, wear the key to his cock proudly and confidently. Being a keyholder is a wonderful thing and others should know of the benefits it could provide them. Show off his obedience to your friends or other women you interact with on a daily basis. If is up to those of us that “get it” to promote this growing lifestyle.

Please comment and interact with me at twitter.com/MsFLRcoach.

Image credit: merrylander.tumblr.com

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A bad girl’s guide to becoming a good girl through enforced chastity

Enforced Male Chastity

A bad girl’s guide to becoming a good girl through enforced chastity

BY ALYSSA’S DOLL

Often times i look back on my unlocked days with fondness, but never with longing. Those days are past for me and i have accepted that having my little clitty locked up is the best thing for my living under Female rule.

Having been in chastity for over 9 years, has given me an understanding of how very bad i used to be. In fact as a smelly stinky boy, i was constantly doing my thinking with my little head and had no real regard about the thoughts and feelings of the women in my life. Only by being put in chastity and having it enforced have i learned that my mental processes were entirely driven toward my own self-satisfaction and not with want of pleasing a Superior Woman as my top priority. i have a new perspective now and the following is what i have learned…

First and foremost i have learned that my mind needs to be properly re- wired to accept that Woman are superior to men. Over the years i have fought that concept and have finally admitted (Mainly in part to being chastised) that there is no fighting it anymore. My experience with enforced male chastity has given me the understanding that in order to really please a Female Superior, you need first to consider her needs above your own and only through enforced male chastity can a pig male ever come to understand that that way of thinking or perspective.

Before continuing on to the merits of enforced male chastity and how it can help a lowly male become a softer, more feminine and better human. Let’s review a couple types of chastity devices and some ideas/concepts about them:

My first experience with enforced male chastity was with the CB2000. i spent many a day in this device and learned quickly that once in a device like this it is impossible to not be detected by your keyholder if you try and take it off. You may get it off but you will either break the device getting back in or possibly hurt yourself.

One of the biggest draw backs to this device was that it was rather bulky and as with all plastic devices, rings, cages and pins break. Also if not fitted with an anti-pull out device the chastised male can pull their penis out from behind the back ring and possibly masturbate. Here is an example of a typical anti-pull out device.

These devices are specifically designed for the CB3000 and CB6000 devices and if fitted properly will prevent the male from pulling out from behind the back ring. The CB3000/6000 came next and I wore it for years. There are a few differences between the two, mostly about how the rings were designed but basically the same.

It has only been in the last year that I have been kept in a metal device and that device has caused me some rather difficult mental hurdles. i will expound in a bit, but below is my current device. It is called the Bon 4 m and due to unavailability of the standard size i went with their s (small) version and truly wish i could have waited for the standard size as getting even slightly aroused in a cage too small is a very painful experience.

As you can see i have modified my device to use the anti-pull out device i had with the CB-6000 i wore prior. Below is a picture that shows it fully installed along with a locking waist chain that prevents me from pulling the cage too far forward and it also not only provides enhanced security, but also keeps the device from moving from side to side, thus making it much more comfortable to wear.

That pretty much brings us up to date on the devices I have worn and have experience with. There are many many more devices out there and i am sure they are all great devices but these are fairly mainstream and in wide use thus reviews are easily found. My main reason for going with the Bon 4 m was due to it being easy to retrofit my waist chain and anti-pull out device to it.

The following are some thoughts i wrote down recently concerning chastity and things that subs often times don’t tell their Superiors and i thought i would put them here so that you bad girls don’t get any ideas…

  • That without an anti-pullout device accessory for the CB series chastity devices installed, a slave can pull their penis out from the back ring of the device and masturbate.
  • Most slaves will not order of even mention to their Domme the existence of another accessory for the CB series chastity device called the “Points of Intrigue.” They come as a set ranging from smaller points to larger ones. Of if you will… Least painful to extremely painful. With a set of these points installed any erections are met with a varying degree of pain and many Dommes use this to punish their slave for various reasons. I have even heard some Dommes like to make a slave install them so that the Domme can then tease the slave into getting an erection and watching their agony.
  • Metal Chastity devices are a slave’s worst nightmare, as they cannot find an excuse to break it if they get too horny. I have broken my last CB 6000 many times when dry humping the bed only to tell Mistress that It broke on its own. This cannot happen in a Metal Device.
  • Lastly, modifying any device to include a waist chain makes it more secure, in even if you did somehow get out of your device it will still be stuck dangling from the waist chain and it totally makes it harder to pull the back ring forward enough to pull the penis out if no anti- pullout device is installed.

With the above understood and knowing the devices i have experience with, we may no continue with understanding the mental aspects of enforced male chastity.

Mentally speaking, i would say hands down that my metal device has caused me more mental angst that anything (Except my new steel bra, but more to come later on that subject) i have experienced to date. Granted there are devices out there that allow piercings to be incorporated, or with real metal teeth but just within my experience, a metal device especially locked with a metal lock, is a very scary mental perspective to deal with. Once locked in a metal device and metal lock there is no mental safety net allowing the male the peace of mind of knowing that if things get bad, that he can break the lock or device to get out. i know that if i got in a wreck or possibly arrested that this device is going to be seen and i will have to explain myself.

The mentality that eventually becomes part of a male in a metal device is that of resignation. A male in a metal device resigns himself to dealing with the fact that he is truly enslaved to his key holder and at the beck and call of her desires, whims and commands. There is no denying the fact that he can’t make up excuses as to why his device broke and he can’t gain any self-satisfaction without her allowing it. In short the metal device is the ultimate male ego deflator, as once fitted with one, the male has no choice but to obey.

No write up about enforced male chastity would be complete without stipulating the benefits of enforced male chastity and the following are the benefits i have experienced with enforced male chastity:

  • Most importantly enforced male chastity is about serving your Superior Female Keyholder and giving up your ability to self- pleasure is the only way you will mentally understand that her wishes, desires, whims and commands are more important than you male pride and ego driven needs.
  • A male in chastity has to sit to pee. This makes a much cleaner environment for the lady of the house and her not having to deal with a stinky un-thinking male wagging his nozzle about and spraying all over the floor. Ewww!
  • Once a male is in chastit,y he begins to not want to go out hunting for “Babes” as he is completely useless to women other than his Superior.
  • The chastised male, once locked become a better citizen. This is because no male wants to be discovered by others that he is locked. Thus he will do whatever it takes to avoid risk and situations that could involve him getting in situation,s that could lead to that discovery.
  • Over time, being locked makes a male much more susceptible, pliant and compliant to the desires of his Superior. This is inevitable, as male needs to orgasm and eventually even the most stubborn male will recognize in time, that his pleasure is directly equated with his Superiors happiness and that happiness will only result in complete compliance to their wishes/rules.
  • Locked males make better feminized sissy’s. Sissy’s that are not focused on their male genitalia, are finally released to focus on their lady like qualities. This is a key factor in becoming a better maid, slut, or girl on her way to true woman hood.
  • Locked males make better husbands, as the wife no longer needs to worry about his little head doing something stupid. She has the little head in her purse and stupid decisions are no longer an issue.
  • There is no way a locked male can forget he is an owned little bitch to his keyholder. Chastity can often be uncomfortable and being uncomfortable is a constant reminder of his bitch status.
  • Male chastity is the great equalizer, in that it does not take sides as to whether you are gay or straight. If you are locked, you are controlled no matter what your orientation.
  • A chastised male will eventually come to the understanding that he has been broken and submitted to the will of his keyholder. This realization may take time but eventually his will becomes that of his Superior.

In summary, the ability for a male to remain prideful and egotistical toward women once chastised becomes diminished over time. With the eventual capitulation of the males will to the Female, as the basic need for pleasure, will over time whittle his prideful male ways to nothing and replace his pride with compliance to the rules set before him by his Superior. In short an enforced chastised male has no options but to serve, obey and comply with the wishes of the Superior Female Gender.

Just remember…

Male Chastity is a great recipe for making a bad girl tart, into a sweet dish, which is good for all to eat!

I committed in my last post to try making simple choices and following through.  I started with one decision at a time, made the best decision in the moment and did not back down from it.  It has been about 10 days and I think “Operation Boss Lady” is going relatively well.

As readers of this blog know, I often struggle with balance or worrying about my husband feeling something is unfair or that it could be “too much.”  The vast majority of contributors all suggest just taking control, owning it and acknowledging that while resistance or “unfairness” may happen, it is kind of what we each signed up for in deciding to walk this path.  In fact, my husband does not want an equal relationship. He wants me to lead. So in spending countless time and energy trying to make it seem or feel equal or worrying too much about the impact something will have, I am really just spinning my wheels and depriving us both of what we actually need/want. It was this realization that got me back on the path of leading.

While I feared increased control or strictness could breed resentment, it has the opposite effect.  He needs the structure and the clarity. He needs the consistency and knowing what is expected. I also think, although probably less so in the moment, that he craves the accountability as well.  Being in this type of relationship really requires some shifts in conventional thinking and finding ways to make sense of concepts that perhaps seem counter intuitive.  It is the difference between viewing follow up as being a nag or as holding him accountable.

It also is not just better for him. It is better for me.  It is easier for me to know that when I make a decision, it will be followed because I am not leaving room for resistance. It is also easier because I have control over my own life and can be responsible for the choices I make, which also means I have no one to blame but myself if it turns out not to be the best choice.  It is just simpler and easier.

So I say to all of the hesitant women out there, just own it. Even if just for a few days or a few weeks, commit to making the decisions, leading and holding him accountable so you both get some traction. My guess is that it will reap positive rewards because he will react well to the structure and consistency, which then provides confidence that can be hard to come by when first starting out on this.  When you can see the positive changes in behavior and the lack of resistance you feared, each choice or action becomes just a little easier the next time.  Sometimes you really have to fake it until you make it.

It is also nice to know that you are not alone.  As much as I have appreciated all of the comments, the ones that have meant the most to me are those that recognize this is neither easy nor perfect.  Yes, it is ideal to be in a relationship where it all just works in perfect harmony and each embraces the role chosen with flawless perfection.  I am happy for each of you that claims to have that type of completely linear path.  That rainbow covered cave full of unicorns just does not exist for me and putting that unattainable requirement of at or near perfect all the time just exhausts me.

We each do the best we can, and some days it is better than others.  But just knowing that you can stumble or be uncertain about your footing and still come back or make a different choice the next day to get back on the path is heartening.  So even if there is a day your leadership was not as strong or your submission was colored by emotional reactions or otherwise not what would be ideal for you or your Mistress, try again. Make a simple choice- be it to lead or to follow and keep repeating.

http://learningandlivingaflr.blogspot.com/