Month: January 2017

No way this should be an issue at this stage. I need more details

by IncardineArt over 2 years ago

Pegging has recently become an integral part of my D/s relationship. As a male sub in 24/7 chastity, it was offered to me by my wife as an alternative source of pleasure since I was only permitted orgasms every 4-6 months. Initially I resisted the idea of being penetrated anally by her for fear that it would be uncomfortable and politely declined her offer. I quickly realized that she wasn’t giving me an option. She said to me in a very stern voice ‘getting the strap-on is not an option…it’s a requirement of this relationship.“ She made it clear to me that she planned to make it a very normal part of our sexual dynamic and assured me that I would quickly get used to it and that I would ultimately learn to love it.

After some further discussion, I learned that she viewed the combination of chastity with pegging as the ultimate form of submission. She saw it as a way to further enhance our overall relationship by further exploring and exploiting my level of submissiveness. She set an initial schedule of twice weekly using a 6” dildo. After just a few weeks, there were some very notable changes that had taken place.

Full time chastity had in a way forced me into a state of submission, but Pegging allowed my submissive nature to blossom fully. What was left of my selfish, argumentative ways has all but dissipated. I’ve become much more cooperative and attentive to my wife’s needs, and am even less concerned with my own orgasms than before. My erogenous zone has shifted from the head of my penis to my anal opening and prostate gland. Because of this shift, I regularly think about and ‘crave’ her cock in my ass more regularly. Her goal is to train me to orgasm from anal penetration alone, which she says is possible once I’m able to fully relax and focus on the experience. Because an anal orgasm doesn’t involve an ejaculation, it won’t affect any restrictions placed upon me through chastity.

Have other subs or Dommes noticed similar changes? One change I have noticed is that I’m unable to remain erect while being pegged. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still very enjoyable. I just lose my erection while being penetrated. Not sure if this is something others have experienced?

@IncardineArt. Don’t be disappointed at losing your erection. It’s very common. It happens to my sub 100% of the time (and every other sub I’ve ever played with). I’m not sure why this is. There could be some physiological basis for it, or it could just be a mental shift away from the erogenous zones in your cock to those in your ass? Maintaining an erection shouldn’t be a concern of yours while being pegged. What matters most is that you learn to fully enjoy it and keep your wife/Mistress happy 😉  

Pegging is something that comes with deep potential for personal growth and really hot sex. It allows a sub to experience amazing pleasure and intense arousal without penile stimulation. This allows him to ride the waves of sexual energy without any risk for ejaculation. You are essentially changing his pleasure area. He will learn to transfer all the pleasure he desires from penile stimulation to anal stimulation. For many men in chastity, this becomes a primary source of stimulation that can provide them with great satisfaction without the risk of ejaculation. A sub can eventually be trained to orgasm from anal penetration as mine has. It requires 100% mental comfort on their part to do so.

DominaJolie

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Small cocks have always been a turn off for me, physically and visually. I can still remember the first time I saw a large cock and how enamored I was with it’s appearance. It was really thick and hung well below his balls when flaccid. I loved the feeling of it growing in my mouth while giving him oral, and how easily I could orgasm when he penetrated me. From that day on I was truly spoiled/ruined and was never able to fully enjoy anything smaller. I would usually end up faking orgasms with my partners, then manage to get myself off using my vibrator, all the while thinking of my ex’s big cock fucking me. I felt no guilt in doing so back then, because I knew that they were having great orgasms and knew that I deserved the same. Their inability to give me an orgasm had nothing to do with their technique. Many of the guys I dated could fuck like rabbits and would come up with some very creative positions. It came down to size for me. I was spoiled early on with my ex’s big cock, and just couldn’t get off on anything smaller ever again.

My current love is just over 5 inches and kept in chastity FT. Rather than faking orgasms when we began having sex, I was honest with him and told him that my pussy prefers the super size upgrade when it comes to sex. lol We would often incorporate the use of toys into our sex life and openly discussed our kinks and fetishes with one another. I had always had a fascination with control and pushing limits. One day while shopping online for some new sex toys I came across a chastity device and ordered it. The first time I saw my lover’s cock locked away in it, I felt a huge rush of ‘that’s never coming off’ surge through my body! I was so turned on. I immediately pressed his face into my wet pussy and told him to get busy. I probably came about 7 times that night.

It was at this point that I discovered a new found attraction for smaller cocks! I was visually stimulated by the image of his cock locked away inside the metal cage which translated into physical pleasure for me. Chastity also satisfied my need for control. I now owned his cock and his orgasms and had no intentions of ever giving that up. I remember closing the lock on the device at one point and thinking to myself..“this lock isn’t coming off for a very long time.” I kept him locked for nearly 6 months before giving him an orgasm. Don’t get me wrong, we still have plenty of great sex. Sex for us now involves his tongue on my pussy or my large she-cock inside his tight little boy pussy.

My lover fully understands my need for control and my love of large cocks. Consequently, he has accepted FT chastity and me having a few well endowed regular lovers as part of our relationship

DominaJolie

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. Feminizing a man can help to eliminate undesirable male behaviors and attitude while empowering a woman. I think deep inside women love seeing the feminine conqueror the masculine. Feminizing a man is the ultimate symbol of the feminine defeating the masculine. We are so used to seeing men have their way with women in our modern society. This is why it can be so empowering for a woman to feminize a man. It allows a woman’s dominant energy to really flow. She loves to humiliate and degrade her man and she loves the social statement that it makes at the same time.

Forced Feminization (FF) allows a woman to be more aggressive and causes a man’s submission to come to the forefront. His ability to resist and object go by the way side and he becomes very vulnerable. The woman can become the aggressor and can have her way with him. The man is non-threatening to her and she no longer fears his strength or masculinity. Many women have a strong desire to take a man forcefully with a strap-on dildo when he is feminized. The desire to rape the feminized man becomes very satisfying to her in many ways.

Chastity makes the male more ‘pliable’ and open to feminization. I’ve practiced FF in my own relationship for many years and keep my husband pantied, shaved and locked in chastity. Being forced to wear panties, shaving his clitty and locking it up has effectively stripped my husband of his ‘sexual’ manhood and transferred that power to me. Panties are not only a better fit for small clitty, they look much better than his cotton boxers.

I also demand that my hubby’s pubic region remain clean shaven and smooth to conform with societal expectations that are brought upon women. I love the symbolism involved with having a nice full mound of pubic hair while keeping his little dick and balls cleanly shaved. It’s just an added reminder of my dominance over him. I always make a point to comment how cute his little clitty looks hairless. I on the other hand can strut around naked and every glimpse he gets of my womanhood reminds him of the status in our relationship. I have even gone as far as replacing his deodorant with Secret for women (strong enough for a man right? Lol) and his soap with Coco Mademoiselle from Chanel. With time he has become more accepting of his new role and consequently, our relationship has improved dramatically.

https://fetlife.com/groups/77964/group_posts/8156990

This has become a popular discussion on my radar lately, and I’m curious to spark a discussion and hear from others. From the outside world (and to those who are foreign to it) male chastity as it pertains to a D/s relationship…is often viewed as an odd and cruel dynamic in a relationship. They struggle to understand why a man would willingly hand over control of his penis. this is often viewed as being un-masculine and that it would make a guy less of a man for doing so… that he lacks masculinity or that it diminishes his masculinity. The only other time such an idea is prevalent in the ‘vanilla’ world is when a man doesn’t maintain his self identity in a relationship and loses his ‘balls’ to his spouse.

First and foremost, my opinion is that these two things are completely different from one another. When a man ‘loses his balls’ in his relationship it often is reflective of a man that no longer has his own self identity, doesn’t stand up for himself and is often controlled by an over bearing spouse. Often being called ‘pussy whipped’ these types are heckled by their male peers for having sold out on the testicle crew and trading ones balls in for a shiny ‘Mangina’… However this is perceived… this has nothing to do with the idea of male chastity.

My opinion is that male chastity is the elective decision for a man to enter into a relationship with a female dominant, and for him to DEVOTE himself to the relationship unconditionally. At first glance it would seem that a man handing over his ‘manhood’ would make him well… less of a man right? Afterall, he handed the goods over… However, it actually takes more of a man and a human being with a higher understanding to devote themselves to such a dynamic.

Think about it, as humans our primitive state of mind, our urges and our desires make us slave to these animalistic ‘needs’ in our lives…and it forces us as humans to remain self serving and selfish. Only after we have secured these ‘needs’ we will ration out ourselves to those around us and to help fulfill their needs. A man who falls prey to his penis, is someone who is a slave to his dick and it’s urges. A man who is unwilling to part with this selfish cycle and relationship he has with his penis is less of a man than the one who is willing to forego his own feedings for that of his female spouses.

Once a human being makes the decision to remove themselves from that primitive slave cycle, they automatically have made it to the next stage of a higher understanding and become more of a superior being…

What makes a real man? A man who opts to forego an orgasm and understands that this energy can better be served by being placed into the relationship. How do women define a real man? Someone who is willing to put his female spouse first and foremost …and above and before his dick. A man that is willing to place a woman before his dick is someone who inhabits more masculinity than any other man who refuses to part with his dick. Furthermore, he also has more masculinity because testosterone defines masculinity… and quite frankly a backed up man will always have more ‘masculinity’ flowing through his body at any given time over someone who selfishly runs around with his dick in his hand all day long.

The problem is that society interprets ‘male ego’ as masculinity. A man that acts machismo and says ‘no woman is going to lock my cock up’ may have a shit load of male ego but not masculinity. Many in the outside world may view a chastised male as being less of a man…but all these people lack is an open mind or a desire to grow past the tip of their dicks.

As a dominant female and someone who studies behavioral psychology and human sexuality… I will say this… A man who is willing to enter into a submissive dynamic and detach himself from his male ego and ‘perceived masculinity’ is the most attractive, desirable and masculine type of man around.

So to all the subs who often find themselves in a moment of uncertainty, or challenged by society’s depiction of masculinity… just know that real women… like the powerful beautiful women in this world who have the guts to embrace their sexuality and own it… to us… such a man is the truest, realist and most masculine around. Remember ‘physicalities’ don’t always determine penile size and sometimes a closed minded shitty male ego makes one a true small dick mother fucker who lacks masculinity.

https://fetlife.com/users/2464661/posts?page=1

(The following is an insightful piece written by Tumbelina, a lady who is very much a converted chastity advocate)

The funny thing is that the sight of a cock lock and the idea of male chastity, would make even the most open minded vanilla person cringe. Most view this concept as a twisted fetish, very one sided by way of benefits for a woman, and as being cruel to endure on a man’s part.

However, what many fail to see is that Mother Nature by default causes an imbalance in relationships between a man and a woman. Women are at a disadvantage, and by design the male sex libido prevents a man from fully investing in a relationship to the extent a woman does. He is unable to do so, because he requires a part of himself to be reserved for his own sexual needs and his impulsive self gratification cycle. This cycle in itself, comes with chemical changes in the body, of which cause a diminished level of investment on his part.

If more vanilla people knew this, women would be running out and buying cock locks like they did back when they lost their minds over 50 Shades of Grey. Vanilla men don’t want women to catch on to this, as their relationships would cause them to divorce their dicks or risk divorcing their wives.

How does male chastity benefit an everyday normal relationship outside of sexual? The biggest benefit is the side effects and resulting symptoms of abstinence from masturbation, that lend themselves as positives to the relationship.
Men may not see these as positive benefits, but the fact that it provides for true will power and it refines a man’s behavioral psyche…

You see, the process of masturbation involves a mental compulsion, that prompts a physical sexual impulsiveness… It’s actually a very primal behavior and equivalent to the level of an animalistic mentality. Altering the course of this cycle produces more refined and sophisticated human behaviors. It allows for a transferring of resources to the emotional part of the brain, and it prompts a man to seek out fulfillment on a deeper level. It essentially bypasses the dick drain distraction, and allows for the brain to become more aware of its surroundings. It’s almost like turning down the blaring stereo music, and finally realizing that hey ‘listen, I hear birds chirping outside!’… A sound that went unrecognized when the self serving dick rock concert played on infinite repeat lol…

The biggest benefactor that not many people realize?

Male masturbation creates an emotional barrier in relationships and allows a man to remain somewhat disconnected in a very self sufficient and self serving way. Chastity helps remove this barrier and causes a man to have a deeply rooted dependency for his spouse. With masturbation, a man’s emotional offerings are at a level that’s considered sufficient for a male, but insufficient on a female level. Chastity ups a man’s offerings to the level a female requires in order to feel ultimate fulfillment. The very reason why women are known as naggers, always wanting more… ‘It’s never good enough’ is because of the masturbation barrier… If this was not a factor, women would not be associated with these undesirable traits because we’d be much more content. Women wouldn’t feel the need to ‘fight for their food’ and look to secure their emotional meals.

These female feedings do not exclude sex! Chastity forces a man to become truly invested in her pleasures. Men are naturally known to be pleasers in bed… Many men I’ve known have had the mentality ‘I’ll make you come and when you’re done I’ll come’… That’s a considerate male… At best… Understand that this mentality is STILL SELF SERVING on a man’s part! He requires this to stroke his ego. A man needs to feel as though he’s taken care of business, and then gotten his too by getting physical gratification. Once again, it’s double feedings for his needs, and most often she’s faking the orgasms to help stroke him even more. Our emotional ego is tied into our sexual one, whether we’re having sex or saying ‘I love you’ our core needs are being nurtured. This is why a woman is at a disadvantage as she loses out overall.

Masturbation in a relationship is selfish and self serving on a man’s part… Chastity allows for balance and is a selfless act that a man should be willing to embrace if he truly loves his spouse and wants her to find ultimate fulfillment and happiness. When it comes to a woman’s emotional needs, her cup is never full if masturbation is a factor. Chastity increases a man’s tolerance and it neutralizes his male aggressiveness… It also satisfies a woman to the extent that it neutralizes her excessive needs and the feeling that she has to chase down her emotional and sexual meals… There would be a lot more successful relationships and happier couples if the masturbation barrier didn’t exist.

Think about this for a moment…

Sex means the most to a man (as it ties to his emotional ego) and emotional fulfillment means the most to a woman (as it ties to her sexuality) … As a man, Imagine what it would be like if your sex life lacked fulfillment? Your spouse could never quite deliver the quality of sex that makes you feel content… And it was always just ok and sufficient cause there’s no other option… But deep down you know it could be better? This is the exact situation a woman encounters in a relationship, when it comes to her emotional needs. Her emotional fulfillment threshold is at a female level, yet his offerings are limited to the male threshold that he himself finds sufficient… And it’s due to the energy he must reserve for the personal relationship he has with his penis. Men always have this expectation that it’s a woman’s duty to deliver the goods and take care of a man’s needs, if she expects him to stay invested and not stray… Yet a woman is expected to stay equally invested regardless of the level of emotional fulfillment….

He still gets to have his self serving sexual gratification cycle on the side and offer only the left over energy and resources available… While she remains fully invested at all times. The reality is even if a woman engages in masturbation, it does not have the same chemical effects to her female brain and body, and she is able to maintain full investment in the relationship.

Kind of a double standard don’t you think? If a man has those expectations of a woman, he should be willing to hand over all of his sexual/emotional energy and invest it ALL into the relationship. Lastly, the reason why men are viewed as more independent than women is because they have the ability to fully satisfy their most primary need (being sex) all on their own. The idea that they need not depend on a woman for the one thing they cannot live without.

Women on the other hand, are incapable of serving their most primary need (being emotional) without the help of their male spouse. He holds the key to her ultimate fulfillment, and he also holds the key to his own ultimate fulfillment. This is why men have the upper hand as being the more dominant sex. Yes, women are a male weakness… But it’s a desire not a need. Chastity equalizes that all…. As long as men have access to masturbation, they never truly have both feet invested in a relationship and to the point of dependency. Chastity evens out the playing field and allows for a fair game with no one side having an upper advantage over the other.

In a man’s defense, he cannot be faulted for this… As he himself has no control over the male sex brains compulsions and resulting impulsive behaviors. However, a man does have control over the choices he makes to help bypass and remedy this cycle. Making the ultimate sacrifice that allows him to become fully invested in the relationship.

Male chastity is not one sided and ‘cruel’… it’s an added rider that one smart woman places on the relationship, and one selfless man willingly accepts, that helps make for two equal sides. It teaches a man how to seek out and enjoy sexual fulfillment from his spouse and in other forms. Male chastity is the key (and lock) to the ultimate relationship.